15 Compliment Dos and Don’ts
Compliments are the bomb, there’s no denying that. It feels good to give them out, as well as to get them. This might be a shock to hear, but some compliments that people tend to give out are actually damaging and can contribute to a number of insecurities, especially when they’re centered around body or appearance. If we see a friend with a fresh new haircut or a cute outfit, of course we want to give them a compliment for it, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Compliments on physical appearance feel great, and I’m all for it. But just like everything else in life, there needs to be balance.
When we hear the word “Compliment” typically the first thing that comes to mind is someone’s physical appearance. That’s of course one type of compliment, but what about the thousands of others out there? I know that personally if I had gotten compliments on how smart I was or even how good my sense of humor was rather than how “good” I was looking I probably would’ve felt much better about myself and less of a need to change. What was such a “good looking” weight for me was actually
deadly for my body. People obviously couldn’t have known that, maybe they just felt like giving me a compliment. Other people would compliment me for my “self-control” around eating, which actually just caused me to be more embarrassed than proud. To this day, even people who know what I’ve been through will tell me that they’re so impressed with my “self-control” around food. It doesn’t feel good, it leaves me feeling icky and different from them.
I wouldn’t be writing about this if I didn’t view it as a real problem in this world, so it’s definitely something to take a look at. To be on the safe side of giving a compliment, I think it’s always best to compliment someone for their inner worth, rather than their outer. You never know what you could be contributing to or how people could perceive it, so it’s best to just stick to something you know will make them feel entirely good about themselves if your true intention is to give them a confidence boost. It makes me feel good to know that there are more interesting things about me than just my appearance, and billions of people in this world feel the same way. I’ve compiled some short lists of destructive compliments to avoid, compliments about things other than physical appearance, and compliments you could give to people about physical appearance that are actually meaningful.
Compliments that tell people that they’re more than just physically beautiful
You mean a lot to me.
I’m so happy we met.
You have great taste in _____.
You always make me laugh.
You’re so brave.
You’re a phenomenal leader.
You have such a great heart.
I bet if you dropped a mixtape it would be fire.
I would still hang out with you even if you didn’t shower for days.
You empower me to _____.
You are definitely not someone that I pretend not to see in public.
You are so talented.
I love your humor.
You should be proud of yourself.
You’re a strong person.
“Compliments” that are backhanded or should be avoided
You have great self-control around food.
You’re really good at that for a _____
Wow, you’re looking so thin! Have you been working out?
You’re so brave for wearing that.
What’s your workout routine?
You look great today!
Wow, you really cleaned your plate!
You look so healthy!
Your weight loss really suits you!
You’re like a machine, getting stuff done!
You’re such a health nut.
You’ve got a good smile, use it!
You look so good when you really try!
You always get straight A’s.
You’re so happy. I wish I could be like you.
You’re the best looking one here!
Last but not least, because physical compliments do feel so good, I’ve made a list of compliments of physical beauty that aren’t harmful to the receiver. This is a shorter list, so of course there are more than this, but I just wanted to make a quick side note that physical compliments can feel just as good as non-physical ones in moderation.
5 Heartwarming physical compliments
Your smile can light up any room.
I love your style.
You always look so beautiful.
You look so strong!
Thank you so much for reading this blog post and I hope it shed some insight into how toxic these “compliments” can really be. These kinds of things are the things that really made a negative impact on my life, so I wanted to spread awareness before it could possibly make one on someone else's life too. I made this post a little bit lighter than the one from last time because I want a break before I continue writing about my story.
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